„Sorry, Nyla. I can’t tonight. Mat asked me out! On a proper date, too. Dinner first, and then the theatre! Can you believe it?”
The words echoed in my head long after Reena had jubilantly uttered them, completely drowning out Master Tibbin’s lecture.
The joy in Reena’s face had been effervescent. Yet looking at her beaming face had only made my heart plummet to the depths of the ocean. The smile I’d returned had been forced, my voice mechanical, my well-wishes a farce.
Why couldn’t I just be happy for her? I should be happy for her. She’d been wanting to go out with Matero Vansga for ages. They’d danced at a couple balls and had discovered their mutual interest for music and horse-back riding. It had only been a matter of time. They’d already been spending a lot of their afternoons together. While I had either lessons with Master Tibbin or training with Elise. The perks of being the Champion destined to end a hundred-year long war. But at least I got the evenings to myself.
Evenings Reena and I usually spent together. Not tonight, however.
It wasn’t like this was the first time Reena had blown me off. If you could even call it that. More likely, she’d forgotten about the plans we’d made over the excitement of going out with Mat. After all, it had been several months ago. The Helios was playing at the opera. It was my favourite. I always went to see it when it was performed. And though Reena had never much cared for the opera, this was one tradition we’d always shared.
Until now.
“…and that is why the Champions were born during the Mora Transit of 465. That is all for today.” Master Tibbin finished his lecture, and dismissed me, but not without reminding me of the essay due tomorrow on the planetary movements of Mora from 79 BFU to today. Which was currently residing half-finished on my dinner table. It would take me half the night at least to complete it.
I was pouring over the transit of 358 when Mara glided into the room with a smile on her face and an emerald-green dress cradled in her arms. She stopped abruptly when she saw me hunched over three textbooks with a quill in my hand and a dozen loose papers strewn about me.
“What are you doing over there? Aren’t you going to the opera tonight? Where’s Reena?”
I couldn’t look at Mara as I answered, “we’re not going. I’ve got to finish this essay until tomorrow.”
Weakly I gestured towards the pages I’d already written in front of me. I could feel the lump forming in my throat. I knew that if I had to speak again, she’d hear it. And then she’d ask what the matter was. And then I’d have to explain how I selfishly wanted Reena to spend all her time with me. How I was jealous she chose somebody else over me tonight. How I was jealous every time she did. How I always felt a pang in my chest when Reena told me about any time she met with somebody else.
I couldn’t bear for Mara to find out anything about this jealous, hideous, monstrous side of me. I should not be feeling like this. I wasn’t fair. Not to Reena. Or anybody else she chose to spend time with. Reena’d always had more friends than me. Not that that was hard. I’d only ever had her. And wasn’t that the damn problem?
“But it’s the Helios playing tonight.” Mara’s voice was gentle and soft. I hadn’t even noticed that she’d sat down next to me. I only shrugged.
“And your nearly done with your paper anyway! There’s more than enough time to finish it after the opera.” Tenderly Mara dislodged the quill from my hand, dried it and set it on the table. Then she started tidying up all the loose paper. “Besides, the dressmakers finished your new gown with the fabric you bought at Market last week. You should wear it tonight!”
My eyes trailed to the couch where Mara had deposited the dress. It was a gorgeous fabric. Silk brocade. Heavy. Expensive. Reena had discovered it and persuaded me to buy it. I’d wanted it for tonight.
Mara stepped into my field of vision. For a second I looked her straight in the eyes before I hastily averted my gaze again. But I’d already seen it. The understanding. Perhaps even pity? Prophets, I wanted to be anywhere else. Be anyone else. Not this person who was holding on to dear life not to cry in front of her maid-in-waiting because her only friend had preferred to spend the evening with somebody else. How pathetic.
Warm hands enveloped mine and pulled me off the chair. Surprised, I looked up at Mara again. There wasn’t any pity in her eyes. The only thing I found in her smiling face was mischief.
“You know, the Helios is also my favourite opera. And I am free tonight. Are you in the mood for exchanging your opulent dress with one of mine and seeing the play from a whole different perspective in the commoner’s section? It’ll be our secret.”